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Heyloo

tadaa it's 00.00 - sunday, 17 august 2014. The 69th birthday of indonesia a.k.a the independence day of indonesia. I am not actually going to post something about today's special day. I'm going to post something different instead.

My sisters are one of my greatest inspiration on decisions i made. They are my moodbooster on every bad times i had. I must confess, i've been dealing with someone i really really do love -not my sisters - and someone who i always put in my prayers. But i, i did a mistake, well she did too, but somehow i know she always wanted to be the rightest person of all.

Considering my answers in all of our arguments, she deserves to be mad. But considering the way she talks to me on every different or same questions i ask, i deserve to express my feeling towards her tone.

It's quite annoying when someone doesnt want to hear your opinion, isnt it? You'd feel useless like you dont even need to be there. Infact, you couldnt even fight back, well because it'll only be shit in their eyes or their ears. They wouldnt give a damn cause they feel theyre the rightest one. And you're just another person who would rather choose to back off. 

i couldnt understand why she cant accept the truth that she's wrong. It's just a small topic yet it turns into a big arguments. The only problem for her is because i didnt understand the answers she gave on every questions i asked. So i asked more and more same questions in order to make myself understand. But the more i asked, the higher tone she answered. I felt like i was not appreciated and it killed me. i felt like i'm so dumb in her eyes. I felt like a big problem for her and those feelings are not giving you any good effects.

But as i said, i couldnt fight back. I love her so much and i dont want to have any problems between us. 

Ily, mom. 

xx

have you ever..?

heylooo

I was just thinking, have you ever suddenly realized how lonely you are because you have no one to talk with? It's not that i'm feeling that way nor the opposite, i was just thinking. Anyway, i must admit i've been through that part of life. For several times, actually. 

You see, not everyone will be interested to you, am i right? Not all of us are one of those pretty girls. But for me, pretty and beautiful has different meanings. And attractiveness too. Though sometimes pretty wins in most of the time, get it?

In the end, attractiveness will be hard to get. Unless you have pretty face, perfect body, unbelievable amazing hair, slightly rich, and the last but not least; good reputation. Yet have you ever wonder how are the people with the opposite of all of those? The other side.

Back to the first thing i'd like to write. Have you ever feel so lonely because you have no one to talk with? What i meant by 'talk' is; talking about those different stuffs, those beautiful boring topics, or those fun and interesting things- you know - like those kind of things.

Frankly, sometimes i dont need those kind of things (bullshit) (but true, sometimes). We will always have that one moment where we dont have to care about everything. But you know, life's unexpected tho. 

i'm not pretty sure why i wrote what you read, or even this. But that's surely what i was thinking for the moment. 

xx